Love is strange. You dream of that perfect guy. The one you know you’ll spend the rest of your life with. Those weird hormones make you believe if you give it all to him, he’ll stay with you forever. After all, isn’t that what every guy wants? To get in your pants and then that should seal the deal?
My first love was no different. I was sixteen and believed he was the one. That we’d be together forever. Sure, he grew tired of the same old making out scene. He began pushing for more. Long story short, I didn’t notice his flaws and chose to only see the good. I gave in and let have what he wanted. A lot of good it did. He broke up with me a couple of weeks later.
That was two years ago. There are things from the relationship that continue to haunt me. I need to get some space from it all. I sit across from Juliana Morgan, her pointy nose goes perfectly with her “have to know everyone’s business” personality.
The cameraman counts down as we get ready to go live on air. The glaring lights above us make me sweat. I always get nervous with interviews, so it’s possible it not the lights at all. Luckily, this is the last interview I will have to do for a while.
Juliana: “Good Morning. Joining us today is Kristina Goodman.” She smiles.
Me: “Thanks for having me.”
Juliana: “Everyone enjoyed your recent movie “A Summer’s Night.” What’s next for you, Kris?”
I wish she wouldn’t use my nickname. I’d rather be addressed by my full name, at least in interviews. I don’t recall telling her to just call me Kris. My family and close friends are the only ones I like calling me that.
Me: “It was a pleasure to be a part of such an amazing cast. What’s next?” I stare down at the floor for a moment before meeting her eye again. “Well, I’m going to take some time off.”
Juliana: “REALLY? Now? You just won an Oscar. It seems that you’re at the height of your career. What are your plans exactly?”
I can feel her eyes burning holes into my soul.
Me: “Oh, I’m just going to disappear for a while. I need to get away from L.A. and the never-ending following of the paparazzi.” I smile.
Juliana: “So, you won’t be making another movie this year?”
Me: “I’m not sure. I’ve been busy the past two years focusing on my career and now I need some time to myself.”
Juliana: “Does this have anything to do with Jason Polar and your breakup with him?”
Me: “It’s true; we recently split. And it’s also true I’ve made some mistakes in the past few years.”
Juliana: “So tell us. What are your plans specifically? Where do you plan to go on vacation?”
Me: “I can’t disclose that information. But let’s just say I’m on a mission to get back to the Kris I was before I was part of a couple. And maybe that will be finding some of what’s been missing these past two years while I’ve been so busy.”
Juliana: “Is it possible you’re running away? Perhaps to your Midwest roots? Kentucky, isn’t it?”
I laugh.
Me: “No, no, not at all. I just need some time to get my head back on straight without the pressure of my job. It’s that simple.”
Juliana: “Thank you for your time today, Kris. You’ll be missed and we here at Star Struck wish you well.”
I know she isn’t satisfied with my answers, but we are out of time. She turns to the camera.
Juliana: “I’ve been speaking to actress Kristina Goodman who’s just revealed she’ll be taking some time off after her megahit as Cadence Hire in the recent box office hit ‘A Summer’s Night.’ This is Juliana Morgan signing off for Star Struck.”
Being a movie celebrity has its perks, but it also has its downs. I put on a fake smile to keep the questions away. Dealing with my feelings on my own is easier than seeing them written in a magazine or played over and over again on TV. My best option seems to be just shutting people out.