I asked a FB group I am in to post pictures of their favorite Raelle and Scylla moments. Each picture here is from that group and I welcome you to read about the way I perceive them. Again, this is an area where if you have issues with same sex couples this probably isn’t for you. Please don’t flood my inbox with negativity. Thank you!

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To Taylor Hickson and Amalia Holm

I know you don’t know me from a stone on the ground but you have an amazing gift for acting. You put everything into it and it shows. You care about the characters you portray. I don’t know if you realize how many fans you have or how much you have helped every one of them in some way.

Your roles in this show are important for many reasons. You show love, is love no matter the sex. You show the different emotions and dynamics that life so valiantly gives to us all. Grief, pain, love, power, happiness. Life is hard and sometimes we, as humans need encouragement along the way.

So thank you. Thank you for being you and for taking on the roles of such powerful and influential women. I know you are not the characters you portray on tv but you have kind hearts and that’s what this world needs now. Kind hearts and open minds.

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I have been searching for something to take away the pain from the grief I’ve been fighting tooth and nail to overcome. I could never vanquish it, it remained to dominate my life. Some see me as rebellious but truth be known I’m a lost soul, trying to find my way in this world. But then, I met you. And, you were you. I feel for you. You helped me see there is a way to make it through. You showed me compassion and I hungered for every moment I could spend with you. When I’m with you I no longer feel the weight of my grief but the joy in your smile and the want in your touch.

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From the day we met, I knew you were mine. Everything about you drew me in, your smile, your eyes, your touch. I don’t think you understand how beautiful you are, not just on the outside, but your soul reverberates within you. You have an edgy almost dangerous persona about you. The sort of thing I know is bad for me but good at the same time. Part of me warns against allowing myself to get close to you while the other demands I do only that. I don’t want to stay away and I refuse to reason with the part of me that is warning me. I haven’t felt this free in too long and I won’t give it up on a whim. You are mine and I am yours.

 

 

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I’m scared to tell you about myself. I don’t want you to leave me because of the things I have done in the past. I’ve made mistakes and hurt many, but I hope you know I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. You’ve become my life and have refreshed my soul. We were both wondering, and I thought I had found where I belong. That is until you came along. You question me on my past and I divulge very little. Only enough to satisfy a portion of your questions. I’ve been burned before by the ones I love, and it scares me to let you in, completely. I don’t know if I can take it if you abandon me too.

You promise me that, no matter what I have done, that you are with me. That you love me now and always, but I fear that is just because you don’t know my past. I try not to dwell on the what if’s but my mind refuses to let me forget.

 

 

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    I don’t know how this happened. We weren’t supposed to fall for each other. You were a job that I accepted with very little detail involved. They want me to deliver you to them, but I can’t do it. You’ve made me realize I’m better than that. I’m better than the people who command me. You’ve given me so much and I have given you so little. You believe a lie and I can’t force myself to explain the truth to you. I’m afraid you will hate me and let me tell you, fear can be consuming. I try to pretend that I’m not afraid. To convince myself to not be ashamed of the things I have done, but I am. I am because I know I didn’t do them for the right reasons. You deserve better than me, but I’m not willing to give you up. Time is running out in this lie you believe. I know all of it is about to catch up with me.

I try to focus on us. On the here and now. Swaying back and forth to the soft music calms my emotions and my racing mind. Your hand in mine comforts me while I try to take in our last moments together. Our love is strong, and I can only hope it will withstand what is about to come.

 

 

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      My worst nightmare has come true. I’m about to lose you and I feel it down to my core. I’ve tried so hard to keep you in the dark. I know it was wrong of me to do but I wasn’t sure what else to do. The thing I feared most looms in the cool damp air of this room. I wait anxiously for you to wake. I need to explain to you what is going on in my words and not in theirs. I know they won’t sugar coat it for you and I’m afraid you won’t understand. Life isn’t just about being good or being bad. The gray area in-between is where I find myself now.

Your eyes open and are startled at the sight of me chained to this chair. I long to embrace you but the restraints deny me this pleasure. You hurry to me as the tears stream from your eyes. My heart sinks deeper into my chest as I scramble for the words to tell you. I know our time together is short. My captures will come to separate us. They are trying to weaken me by using you. I know that, but I can’t say I’m not happy to see you.
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The door to my stone cell creaks open and I franticly cling to you. Trying to take in a last kiss and keep you in my grasp. It doesn’t work. They rip you from me and I’m left screaming out for you. I know from this moment on we will be different. You will learn the truth about me and all that I have done. I don’t want to lose what we have, and I need you to believe I’m not as crazy as they are going to have you think. Please believe me. Please remember us.

 

 

 

 

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I’m granted a final wish before they dispose of me. I needed to see you again. I need to be with you one last time before I’m sent away for good. When you walk through the door all of my hope is shattered. You no longer look at me the same way. Your eyes, those beautiful heart-stopping eyes, burrow into me with disgust. My stomach turns at the thought of you hating me. I know you know what I’ve been keeping from you. You know about the terrible things I have done. I don’t deny them, but I want to explain my side of the story. Nothing is as cut and dry as it appears. I’m not all bad.

The anger and pain radiate from you. I know I’ve let you down. I tell you I still love you but you suppress my words with your own. They have turned you against me and I know I may never get the chance to show you why I am this way. I know you think I played you but that didn’t happen at all. I fell for you. I chose you over them. I chose you over myself. I chose you! It may be the only decent thing I have done in a long time. I couldn’t turn you over to someone that couldn’t guarantee me that you’d be safe. I know who I work for, and I know their intentions are not always good.

You ask me if I have misled you through all of this. Was our love even real? The questions stabs me in the heart. It was real! We are real! I need you to believe it because it is the truth. I love you! I wait for you to tell me you love me but the words don’t dare escape your perfect lips. I yearn to hear them uttered but they are not.

You think you were picked because you are weak, but you are much more powerful than you know. You haven’t even begun to harness the power inside of you. It is why they picked you. It is why they chose me to apprehend you. They want only the most powerful. What they didn’t suspect is that two lost souls would find their way together as we did. We found comfort in each other. I finally felt like I was where I need to be, in your arms. But now, that has been taken from me.
You’ve dismissed my love for you as if it was all a lie. I can’t help but notice that you said, you had loved me. I know you are confused right now and are angry with me, but I hope you still love me.

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